You have a problem. I have a problem. The person working next to you has a problem. Your supervisor has the same problem. Your CEO has this problem in large amounts. As does George Bush. Even Nelson Mandela has this problem. And your friends and relatives. All of us have this problem. What is it?

Other People!

Let’s list some of the ways in which other people are a problem;

  • They don’t listen
  • They don’t care
  • They take up my time
  • They make me do things
  • They stop me doing important things
  • They get in the way
  • They annoy me
  • They upset me
  • They make me angry
  • They want things from me
  • They set impossible deadlines
  • They fail to give me the resources I need
  • They do things I don’t want them to do
  • They get me into trouble
  • They get into trouble and expect me to sort it out
  • They get all upset and want me to help them
  • They get all upset with me when I do help them
  • They are ungrateful
  • They get all upset when I try and stop them doing things I know are bad for them

Boy! That’s a long list. And I’ve only just got started. Already I’m wondering if they do all of this deliberately. Just to upset and annoy me. Is it personal?

Of course it isn’t. However, I’d be very hugely impressed if you could honestly say that you have never experienced some or all of the above at times in your life.

Now, here’s the thing. What can YOU do about it? Do you just accept it and say that’s how life is’? Maybe. How about becoming a hermit, cutting of all contact with other people? Would that work for you? Probably not.

Okay, so here’s another option. Grab hold of a mirror. Take a look in it. A hard look. Really stare at it. Can you see the person looking back at you? That’s the Other Person I described earlier. To everyone else in your world, you are the other person. Can you accept what you do to them?

Because once you accept it, you gain strength and resolution. You can do something. How about making some attempts to notice the impact you have on others and become more sensitive to their response?

It’s a start…and a good one. Simple but not necessarily that easy. Go for it.

Are you passionate about people? I am. Especially about how to help them live fulfilling lives at work. About how to create and sustain organisations in which people are able to give of their very best. Organisations where culture and practice encourages personal responsibility and enables every individual to be engaged, enthusiastic and effective. Because organisations need more people like this. You can share and swap ideas with me at http://www.new-frontiers.co.uk

John Schonegevel is a director of New Frontiers, behavioural change specialists and Novations Consulting Partners.