Why I Am Afraid of the Ocean

When I was 10 years old, I was vacationing with my family in St. Augustine, FL. My brother and I were lounging in the ocean on blow up plastic floats. I was lying prone on the faded orange raft with my arms dangling in the water when “Zap!”, I felt an intense burning — like a bolt of lightening stabbing through my left bicep. I came close to running on water like Scooby and Shaggy escaping from the monster villain of the week as I shot out of the ocean screaming for my mom. The red whelps from the jellyfish sting were already forming as it began to dawn on me what had happened.

I have had no love for the ocean since that week. I enjoy the beach, but I am perfectly content to stay out of the water. Actually, I have been afraid of being in the ocean. I even get scared when my wife and children are in the ocean body-surfing in the waves. Memories of my parents’ admonitions from my childhood about drowning in the undertow or getting stung by sting rays echo in my mind as I sit on the beach missing all of the fun.

How I Defeated Fear

In January 2007, in order to celebrate turning a combined 120 (my wife, sister-in-law and I all turned 40), we took a cruise with the extended family. We sailed from Charleston to Grand Cayman, Cozumel, and Key West. I was not particularly thrilled to be stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Imagine my “delight” when I learned that someone in our group chartered a boat from Grand Cayman to snorkel and swim with wild sting rays 2 miles offshore. Not only did they expect me to swim in the ocean, but they wanted me to feed and hold the sting rays while we were in chest deep water in the sting rays’ natural habitat. We were doing this Steve Irwin style, just 4 months after his death from a sting ray barb to the heart.

So, with all of this fear, why did I get in the water with at least 20 wild sting rays gliding between and around us? I certainly did not do it to prove my courage because I still felt frightened. I did not lead the way as an example to my children - they were in the water first. I did not do it because I relished the experience.

I swam with the sting rays because I have decided to live a no limit life. Comfort and security do not bring happiness. They only generate a feeling of wanting to avoid danger. Samuel Johnson wrote, “It is better to live rich than to die rich.” Expanding this idea from wealth to a greater appreciation for all of life’s experiences, I want to live life to the fullest. This does not mean that I want to take up extreme sports or go live with a primitive tribe in Borneo. Rather, it means utilizing all of my talents and abilities to pursue my passions. It means being what Wayne Dyer refers to as a “no limit” person.

I Wish for You to Be a No Limit Person

One of my passions is teaching people like you to enjoy healthy living. What fears do you have that prevent you from living a healthy life? What fears are preventing you from achieving a healthy weight or starting an exercise program or beginning a self growth education program to read 100 books about how to be healthy?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi discusses in his book Flow: the Psychology of Optimal Experience the concept of “flow” or “being in the zone.” He explains that the best times in someone’s life are the times when they are engaged in a activity that is challenging and that requires a high level of skills like mountain climbing, chess, or even a good conversation. Swimming with the sting rays was just such a challenge for me. It required mastering my emotions to overcome fear. It required intense mental and physical concentration. I had to pay attention to my environment to know where the 20 odd sting rays were at all times. My senses were flooded, and the adrenaline was pumping. I felt so invigorated.

3 Lessons from 20 Sting Rays

There are three principles that I learned from swimming with sting rays that will help you to reach you own healthy living goals.

1. Learn from the experts. The three guides on our boat were island natives, led two excursions daily, and they grew up by the ocean swimming with sting rays. They taught us how to avoid the poisoned barb at the base of the sting ray’s tail, and they taught us how to feed the rays. Whatever your health objective, there is an expert to teach you, or there is someone who has accomplished what you want to accomplish. It could be a personal friend, a professional you could consult, or a book you could read. Learning from experts will dramatically shorten the time it takes to accomplish your goal.

2. Be willing to be uncertain when you leap into the ocean of doubt. Even after you have learned from the experts, your experience will not be exactly the same as someone else. Your situation will be different. Unexpected obstacles will arise. To accomplish your goal, you should be willing to be uncertain of the path. Just take the plunge and learn as you go. Achievement only occurs with action.

3. Enjoy the process for its own sake. I did not swim with sting rays just to be able to say that I did it. That would be a hollow victory. I truly enjoyed being in the water with one of nature’s great creatures. It was thrilling to stroke the soft skin and to feel the powerful suction of their mouths as I offered a meal of squid. Remember to enjoy the process of achieving your goal. The fun of being healthy is not reaching your target weight, but the process of getting there. It is the feeling of getting in the zone as you jog - the steady pounding of your feet, the sweat running down your back and the seemingly effortless breathing as if you could go on forever. That is what keeps you going when you are ready to quit. It is not the goal but the feeling you have as you are taking action.

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Dr. Doug Fullington is a board-certified Internal Medicine physician with a busy practice filled with wonderful patients. He is passionate about helping people learn how to Achieve Maximum Health. You can learn more about how Dr. Fullington can inspire you to maximize your health at http://www.DrDougFullington.com