How often we think we cant change. This is just the way we are. Weve been like this for years. Yet, we do change all the time. Looking at old photographs, we see that we used to wear red all the time; now its purple and blue. Once we were teachers; now we program computers. Weve moved, remarried, had children, made new friends. The change we seek in personal growth — managing time, organizing ourselves, exercising, or relating to self and others — is just one more change in a long string of changes, going all the way back in the past and ahead to the future.

This particular change, however, seems different. Not so easy. Not so natural. Weve tried it before and it hasnt worked. Why should this attempt be any different? The point is we dont know in advance if this approach, or any approach, will work.

Change is mysterious. We try to capture it, tame it, and bend it to our will, but it remains a mystery. Trying to change an old habit, we push and shove; we try as hard as we can. If we dont get results, we may give up. Then somehow, mysteriously, we change.

Every New Years Eve for five years, I made a resolution to quite smoking. Sometimes I lasted a week, sometimes a few days, once even a month. Nothing seemed to work. I cut down, again and again; I mustve quit fifty times. Then one year it happened. There wasnt much I could point to that was different, yet somehow the conditions were right. The last resolution stuck and I never smoked again. A mystery!

Experience tells us that we dont necessarily change in the way and at the time we want to. Even though we may not know exactly what will bring about the shift that resolves the situation, we can, nonetheless, make it more likely.

Back when I got frequent migraines, as the headache came on I would go into help-the-headache mode. Id do slow neck rolls and massage my temples. Id lay off sardines, chocolate, and peanuts. Id shade my eyes and put in earplugs. None of this actually took away the migraine; it just made me more comfortable as I waited it out. Although acupuncture finally shifted my neural circuits, the help-the-headache routine became part of life, no doubt contributing to making future headaches less frequent.

As we wait for the shift to show up, theres much we can do. For time and stuff management, we can clear clutter, make lists, and set priorities. For exercise, we can go to the gym. For relationships, we can practice saying the words. We act as if, even though were not yet convinced. These activities not only soothe that part of us that just wants to do something, they also prepare the ground and relieve some distress.

The real shift the one that changes everything fundamentally is more a gift bestowed on us than something we consciously do. Legend tells us that these shifts often appear modestly. They dont come as heroic entries into the enemy castle accompanied by trumpets and drums. Deep shifts appear when we are able to receive them. The best we can do is keep our attention open and welcoming, focus on our intentions, prepare the ground with our practice, and trust that the shift is on its way. This time the conditions may be right. This approach might click in. This might be exactly what changes us deeply and forever.

Pamela Kristan’s talks, seminars, keynotes, and consultations on time & stuff management have been helping individuals and organizations worldwide since 1985. Visit her Website, http://www.pamelakristan.com or read her book, The Spirit of Getting Organized: 12 Skills to Find Meaning & Power in Your Stuff (Red Wheel/Weiser 2003). Pam has helped individuals from all walks of life and organizations from AmEx to Zumix become more effective, engaged, and aware.