Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Remember the fairy tale words? They came with a powerful message. The one who must be the fairest is certain to be plagued with anger, fear, and hatefulness. Fairy tales were told to children as moral tales. They held within their stories real message of right and wrong and the consequences of making bad choices.

Yesterday I wandered the aisles of a local garden shop waiting while a friend bought some plants. In the various gift areas of the shop were several mirrors that caught my eye. The first had a lovely scalloped edge and was hung by a velvet ribbon. Etched on the glass were the words: I am the fairest of them all.

Nearby were two more mirrors, each lovely and hung by velvet ribbon. One said: I am wonderful. The other proclaimed: I am the most lovely. My mind immediately went back to the evil witch’s question: Who is the fairest of them all? I wondered at the narcissism of the mirrors for sale. Did the person who created these mirrors have any idea how terrible the ‘gift’ they were creating? The witch in the fairy tale was in part ugly and evil because she wanted to see herself as better than anyone else. Her narcissism caused her to be blind to the ugliness that self-centeredness had created within her heart.

A mirror is meant to show us our true self - flaws and all. A mirror helps us know ourselves. It is only in knowing the parts of self that are weak of ugly that we come to know how to live a better life as a better person. My weaknesses help keep me humble. They help me appreciate the strengths of others. They show me the need for me to be in community so that I can use my strengths for the common good and so that others can help me with my weaknesses.

A mirror that proclaims me perfect would be my downfall. The mirror - whether a piece of silvered glass or person - that fails to show my faults would encourage me to live the life of a narcissist. This in turn would lead me to a life filled with anger and disappointment as I encountered people who did not find me to be the perfect human being. What a sad life that would be!

A mirror that shows me to be the imperfect person I am allows me to have perspective. This will allow me to grow in gratitude, forbearance and patience with both others and myself. Lent serves the Christian community as a sort of mirror. In it we see Truth - the truth that there is a perfect God - and that that I am not He.

Melissa McCutcheon is a personal life coach and a licensed clinical counselor. She specializes in coaching people in life transitions to rediscover their passions and strengths to create new and joy filled lives. Helping people who are struggling with the emotional earthquakes of divorce find a new life of fulfillment and peace is a special joy to her. Read more of her articles, find contact information and subscribe to her free online newsletter visit http://makechangegreat.com